Bathroom Scare

by | Sep 9, 2023 | Stories

Occasionally, I encourage a “guest” to contribute something creative to the “Stories” section of my website.  Here is something Greg S wrote earlier this year that I thought smacked of some mental creativity.  Greg and his and wife Trudy gave me permission to repost.  It goes like this….

“I’m afraid my wife, Trudy is prone to exaggeration.

I was awakened from sleep by Trudy saying, “There’s something scary in my bathroom”.  It took me a few moments to fully wake, so she repeated herself.  “There’s something SCARY in my bathroom.”

My sleep benumbed brain thought that our dog, Renae, was frightened by something in the bathroom, and that Trudy thought it sufficiently important to wake me and tell me about it.  Renae has some peculiar phobias; the beeps from the microwave, for example, scare her. 

Annoyed, I tried to ignore her report.

“There’s a TARANTULA in my bathroom!” 

OHhhhh… She wants me to get up and kill a spider for her. 

I must admit , the spider was of extraordinary size.  The fly swatter felt ridiculous in my hand; a BB- gun against a battle tank.

I grabbed a can of raid and, holding my breath, emptied the entire contents into the bathroom.  The spider laughed evilly.   The Raid had no effect.

The spider shot webbing at me, attempting to bind me and, likely, make a meal of me.  I countered with streams of wasp spray, thanking the inventor of the can that shoots streams 25 feet.

The spider, being temporarily blinded by the wasp spray, fell back, allowing me a few moments to quickly grab a machete from the garden shed and a metal garbage can lid to use as a shield. 

Thus armed I charged in, using every skill and technique I have learned watching Japanese Samurai movies.

“I see you are using Drunken Crane technique.  My Tiger’s Claw will defeat your eight-hand arachnid form.  I will kill you.  And when I have defeated you, I will go to your master’s dojo and kill your sensei!”

I don’t know if the spider actually had a sensei, but it seemed like the thing to say at the moment.

The battle was fierce, but the victory was mine.”

Oh Greg…..what an imagination you have!  I don’t think it was Trudy who was exaggerating, do you?!


  1. Greg is my hero!

    • Hi Trudy. So glad to hear that Greg is your hero. I agree, he’s a great guy. Never mind that he’s my nephew so I am admittedly biased.


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Based out of Champlin, Minnesota. Serving and Welcoming Creativity and Humor 

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